Art

That word bothers me because it’s wrong. Because it gives a false impression. The word implies a transformation. You can’t transform a body. People act as though it were possible. You can only change it slightly, or adapt it.

There is no such thing as transition, either internally or externally.

I am already what I am. Inside, I am a woman. And my body is male. So I am a TransWoman. Even if I only realised it late in life. I have been a woman since birth. Perhaps even before birth, perhaps even after death.

Must a TransWoman be forced into the male/female mould? Transition gives the illusion that this is the case.

One’s inner being cannot be changed. I am a woman. There is no transition there anyway. I live from within, not from the outside.

We are not our bodies. We are the inner self. No distinction is made between the inner self and the body. They are mixed. The inner self is equated with the outer self. Or indeed, only the body is seen. But it is simply not possible that we are merely the body.

Where else would you get the certainty, the recognition, that you are a woman? That comes from your inner being. You realise that your body, the external, isn’t right, so that shows there is an inner self – that inner self is you. And your body is merely the outer shell. And that does not correspond to your inner being. Inside, you have always been a woman. The separation between the inner and the outer is there. I find this an important recognition. It is an experience that cannot be passed on. That is why discussions about trans issues are often so difficult. Most people do not recognise this, not even most trans people.

It is called transition when one transforms a male body into a female, or more feminine, body; when one turns a man into a woman. When one equates the inner self with the outer self. When does this process end? Does it last a lifetime? When the process, or the journey, is complete – the transition – is that when one finally becomes a woman?

When one takes hormones, undergoes facial surgery and other procedures – I don’t know all the options. These adjustments can be beautiful, and help one to accept one’s body better and lead to contentment. We need feedback from our bodies. But they can also go too far, such as gender reassignment surgery. But everyone is responsible for their own body.

None of this is a transition, however; these are changes or adjustments to the body. You could also call it feminisation. It is not a transformation, so it is not a transition. The word gives the false impression that a transformation is possible. I think it is more honest to talk about adjustments to the body. And you can make as many of those as you like. It can also become an addiction and never stop.

Essentially, your body remains male. Accept your body. Inside, you are a woman. You always have been, since birth! You will never become a real woman. But you are and always will be a real TransWoman. Even if you make as many adjustments as you like. That is what you must emphasise. Be a real TransWoman and do not imitate a woman. You can be fully aware of it, celebrate it. Be proud of it. It’s easier to present yourself as a TransWoman than to deny it. Be honest with yourself, as it will always be visible, especially as you get older. Stand by your body. But also stand by your gender-affirming procedures. That gives you strength and self-confidence.

Just because your trans identity doesn’t fit into society, you don’t have to imitate a woman. Don’t think like society. How do you think?

If you believe you are only a woman after a so-called transition, you have deceived yourself; it is an illusion. Because you identify with your body, you cannot perceive the illusion. You have identified with the illusion, with your thoughts. Whether you can maintain the illusion is another matter. You have been a TransWoman from birth and will remain one. Even if you don’t want to see it.

Or perhaps you have simply imagined it all; you aren’t trans at all – unfortunately, that happens too. Then you have identified with your thoughts. It requires control over your thoughts, a sense of detachment from them. We are not our thoughts; they are a tool. Then you haven’t yet
realised that there is something inner within your body. That would actually be you.

Identify with the inner, not with the outer. Then you are already what you are.

Here on Earth, we are very much at the mercy of the physical; otherwise, we probably wouldn’t be here. The body is so important, and if it isn’t right, it’s difficult to live with. That’s why I understand very well why one might want to align this body. But it will never be perfect; it is always just the exterior. That’s actually strange, because inside I’ve always been a woman. But for us, the exterior is more important. We are simply very visually influenced and oriented. We have eyes.

I see myself as a woman. TransWoman.