Art

Clémence
Table of
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Vanessa Naef is studying photography in Bern, at the same school where I once studied graphic design. She would like to do an essay about me, and I have agreed. The whole class is staying here in a guesthouse for a week. Each student has chosen a project in the surrounding area.
Vanessa is coming to scout the location. We hit it off right away. I'm interested in doing something photographic with her.
Shortly before the week began, I had an idea: to explain the connection between my art, my body, and my trans womanhood in two photos.
From etching to image. From black and white to color. From unconscious to conscious. From the sexual organs in my art. Me as a woman in a male body, accepting this body and showing it.
The first photo is black and white: I am naked with an etching. The second photo is in color: I am dressed with the painted image of the same etching.
Vanessa finds this interesting and would like to incorporate the idea into her essay.
Vanessa is coming over on Monday! Over coffee, we chat at length, also about me as a trans woman. She also needs some text for her essay.
We go to the studio and Vanessa wants to start with the idea right away. I was surprised. We feel our way forward.
First, the photo with the colored image. Should I stand or sit, and how? Cross my legs or leave them open, include the back of the chair? What looks relaxed? We do a small series in different positions. Vanessa sets up a flash.
Then the photo with the etching and me, naked. It took me a bit of effort to show my male body to her. At that moment, I would have loved to have a female Body. Her open manner helped me wonderfully. It was interesting for me to perceive my body in this situation and observe my thoughts and feelings. I felt comfortable.
With the nude shot, it was the same process of feeling our way as with the color shot: standing or sitting? It also has to fit with the other shots. How should I hold the etching? It's not a picture standing on the floor. We realize that I don't have to hold it in front of my body. It's also interesting to see something of the penis. Sexual organs are everywhere in my art.
This first day was like a layout, a draft. Vanessa took over a thousand pictures. It was an intense back and forth, always looking at the camera monitor. Discussing what we felt or discovered. What we wanted to try out to see how it worked. Suddenly it was afternoon, we hadn't even eaten, we were hungry. We load the photos onto my Mac so we can see them in large format later. In the meantime, we go downstairs and make a delicious salad, which we enjoy very much.
Back upstairs at the Mac, we look at which poses work well. We definitely want to photograph them the next day.
Second day, now it's getting serious. What should I wear? In the end, I go for the same short dress as the day before. But now, of course, with stockings and the right shoes. Hair down? Which earrings? In the end, Vanessa helps me choose.
We start again with the photo with clothes on. We still have to figure out how the two pictures relate to each other. We have to mirror it. We're making good progress, we don't have to look for anything anymore, the position is clear. The view of my crotch is interesting, black underwear over the tights reminds of the pubic hair in my art.
The nude shot takes a little longer. The chest? The stomach? We copy the leg position from the color shot. The penis is slightly visible, which is important to me because I am a trans woman, a woman with a penis, and because of the sexual organs in my art. Then we do another version without looking between the legs, for the instructors, but it's no problem.
We've done it. We look at everything again on the big screen. We have the same favorites.
Vanessa took more photos for her essay. Nude shots with an old mink coat. Portraits too. Me, drawing, vacuuming in the B&B, cooking, climbing stairs, chilling in the big windows. Also the house from the outside in the rain at night.
There is an exhibition of the students' work in the guesthouse. Vanessa's work is praised and stands out. The two photos with the art are well integrated into her essay.
I am very happy with the result!
Thank you very much, Vanessa!